love lures life on.

The better feeling thought.

Looking the way I do, and being the way I am presents not a few difficulties. I’m met with disbelief and scorn at the worst of times. At the best of times however, just surprise and acceptance. and the odd “Fuck really, that’s so HAWWT” (typical Neanderthal male - represent!) I love my life, and love being who I am, and when things happen to bring me down then its just difficult not to try and change to make other people happy. But Saturday night when I was crying into my vodka and orange with three ice cubes (pleaseandthankyou) my friend Elise said to me, “Baby you are who you are and if you feel like you can’t be because someone else then you just have to move the fuck on.” I’m like “easier said than done love” and she just came out with something that I’m going to let govern my life from here on in… “You have to keep striving for the better feeling thought, the thing that makes you feel better. If the people you’re around aren’t respectful and don’t make you feel right, then its on you if you stay around. Its about them, it isn’t about you. You have the choice to leave, and if you are strong enough to do that then you’ll be fine. Now you can choose to get drunk because you feel sorry for yourself or you can drink to have a laugh, but if its the former do not expect sympathy because you got yourself in this situation by allowing people to bring you down. You can get yourself out, they are stuck in it because its about who they are.” She then added something about being in her forties and that if I got it now then I was sorted for life… I should perhaps mention she had consumed the best part of two bottles of Chablis at this point. But her message was pure and will, I am confident, help me in the future.